A polio sufferer as a child, Bernard had to wear a full body splint for several years.
Fast forward 50 years and he found himself bound up by the restrictions of running his own engineering consultancy, a 55 hour a week strait jacket with no apparent succession plan.
A European holiday in 2012 was the catalyst for unleashing himself from his work. It was a gradual process of divesting himself of his clients and training up a colleague in the office of a long-time client to take over his work.
When I met up with him in January 2018 I asked him how he felt about being retired after 35 years of intensely demanding work and what he had found challenging in his post working life?
I wasn’t concerned about retiring as I had already started the transition process whilst I was working. I started scaling down the work and scaling up all my other interests.
The interests I chose were solo ones such as creative writing and photography. That way I didn’t need to rely on anyone and could start and stop anywhere and anytime.
The interesting thing was none of the activities were related in any shape or form to the work I did.
To such an extent that I created an alias on the internet – not because I was ashamed of who I was but I didn’t want my clients to know I was doing these things. It meant I could be completely free and straight up front with anything I did.
So the alias helped you make the leap from work to retirement ?
Yes and the other benefit was that I started to meet people through these interests who related to me as the alias.
When after posting photos and short stories as the alias I posted up a photo of myself, I received the following response: “ You appear to be a fairly old man…. I thought you were a 25 year old female – just the way you posted comments.” It really shook me up.
So your avatar was tapping into a much younger, more expressive persona ?
Maybe. Besides – the stereotypical engineer doesn’t write stories nor take photos. People think they’re nerds!
Moving on to your retirement activities, have you been involved in any voluntary activities?
I’ve been able to contribute my technical skills to a U3A Photography group. Many retirees have an interest in photography but downloading them and preparing them for exhibition may be too much of a challenge.
I was also able to lead a photography group that put on an exhibition every year and I built a website for them.
Did you feel valued in that role ?
Very much so. We successfully staged the exhibition now for 5 years and it’s getting more popular.
Let’s say you were paid for that role, do you think you would feel just as valued ?
That’s an interesting question. I wouldn’t want to be paid. I spent so many years doing a job for money that when I started to do things I really liked I didn’t want it to be about money.
I get more satisfaction from doing something and not being paid than being paid. I’m sure some people will think that’s odd.
Many people find once they’re no longer involved with their “work community” they can feel socially isolated. Do you feel you have found your “retirement” community ?
Very much so although it has changed somewhat from the early photographic exhibitions.
I have also become involved with a theatrical group that puts on a play each year based around James Joyce’s writing, like Ulysses. I convinced them to photograph and video their performances and that led me to delve further into film making – like a dog sniffing I follow my nose now!
I had book marked this group called Filmonik which is a kind of open mike session for makers of short films. I went to see them.
It was like walking into your lost tribe. I even get emotional thinking about it because the room was full of 25-30 year olds and I was more than twice their age. By the time I left the room I didn’t feel any older than them.
Wow – that must have been an amazing feeling.
They operate in a totally non-judgmental way in a very collaborative spirit. Their egos are very contained, they manage to suppress them. That was over 2 years ago and I think I have only missed one monthly session.
They go to extraordinary lengths so you don’t feel threatened. It’s deliberate – they know exactly what they are doing. I feel completely at home with them and have made 8 separate movies with them. They are exceptionally good fun.
So if anyone had said to you when you were starting out your engineering degree that post age 60 you would find your community in a group of young filmmakers.. ?
Not possible. It’s as far from that as I could possibly imagine.
I note that in this film group at their yearly Kabaret intensive you still have to meet deadlines – films need to be conceived and produced in a 48 hour period. How are these particular deadlines different from the stress you experienced in your working life?
The outcome is not as critical. If you deliver substandard documents in the work sphere the repercussions are serious. All goes to hell. I was prepared to work late into the night to get my documents exactly right.
This tendency towards perfectionism… how does this play out in a field you really enjoy and are passionate about?
For some unknown reason it doesn’t seem to be as important. There is always a point when you can just stop. That would be the case with most creative things.
Provided it does what it’s doing it’ll be good. You can spend twice as much time on it and get a 10% improvement.
I like Street Photography because it is imperfect by its very nature. People don’t stand still, you can’t make the light be where it’s supposed to be. Your skill is capturing it right then and there. It’s very much now or you’ll miss it for good.
So is there something you have found a challenge in retirement?
The area which bothers me the most is writing. That’s far more perfectionistic. It takes so much time, it takes so much effort.
I’m halfway through a novel and have been for quite a few years. You could be working on it for 12 months and never have any idea if it’s any good.
You might submit it to a publisher and they drop it in the bin. You’ve just slogged your guts out for 12 months and got nothing in return. That can be very dispiriting. So I’ve worked out that a way to get back to writing is via this film group.
I can convert my short stories into film scripts and that’s what I’m currently doing.
So what would your advice be to those considering retirement or semi-retirement ? How could they prepare for it ?
I think it’s really important to start doing something you really love – whether it’s a creative or sporting activity while you’re working even if it’s only once a week on a Saturday.
That way you can build on it and make your transition to retirement a smoother one.
__________________________________________________
We hope you enjoyed Bernard’s story as part of our exploration of what it means to be retired.
His experience doesn’t conform to the standard definition of a “withdrawal” (from the French retirer – to withdraw or pull back) but much more of a joyous unwinding.
A liberating experience which is more in tune with the Spanish word for retirement – una jubilacion !
We are still collecting responses from our retirement, semi-retirement survey so those of you who have not completed it please do so here
